Quirky
by PrincessDesire
Summary: Homosexual tension awakens Garden to the fact that their world is less than complete. SeiferxZell and SquallxIrvine.
1. Default Chapter

There were strong masculine arms wrapped around him. He felt secure and safe with his head nuzzled in a bare chest. Zell felt like his hopes and dreams had come to fruition. He had found someone to love him…and make love to him. Sexual thoughts invaded the warm happy ones, making him feel urgent with needs. And there was Seifer to fix those needs. His body thrilled beneath Seifer's rough hands and scouring tongue. Every touch brought him closer to exploding, both physically and mentally.

In the morning, his sheets were evidence of his lustful dreaming. Embarrased, he grabbed up the laundry in a basket kept near his bed. Yet another chore brought on by that jerk Almasy's hotness.

"Where are you going with that, dumb ass?" asked Seifer meanly as Zell walked by him with the basket of sheets.

Zell had been trying to keep a steady pace just so that people wouldn't get too close a look at his dirty laundry. He wasn't about to be airing that out anytime soon. "To the laundry room." Duh; where else would he be going with dirty laundry?

Seifer covered his face with a gloved hand. "Zell, when has Balamb Garden ever had a laundry room?"

Zell thought about it. He didn't actually remember ever seeing a laundry room on the directory. In fact, he didn't remember having ever washed his clothes there before either. "We don't have one?" he asked feeling foolish. Something seemed odd about that but he couldn't really put his finger on it.

After a good hearty laugh, Seifer answered, "No."

"But shouldn't we have one? I mean, we all wear the same outfits everyday, don't they get dirty?"

Seifer looked confused. He took a moment to look at his grey coat. It didn't look dirty, just as it always was. But, didn't clothes need to be cleaned every once in a while? "I guess not..."

Zell clenched the basket tighter. This was weird. "Especially with how often we battle?"

The two stared blankly at each other. Why didn't the school have a laundry room? Why had they never washed their clothes before? Why had they never noticed that was odd before?

Finally, they both shrugged simultaneously. "Must be a good reason, right Chicken?"

"Maybe I'll go see Quistis about it after class," said Zell, running back to return the sheets to his room.

"Glad you could finally make it to class Zell..." said Quistis. Zell just gave her the thumbs up sign. So what if he was late? There was something strange going on around this garden. Like this morning when he was trying to decide what to wear to class. He had 2 outfits in his closet: his uniform and his Seed uniform. He was wearing his only casual clothes. And they were all clean. Why was it that Quistis wore that god-awful pink outfit everyday? Could it be that those were her only casual clothes? It was all too strange to think of. "And today we are having just a brief quiz about monsters and special attacks, to get your brains started."

There were groans from the classroom. Zell grinned. School was always a breeze for him. He loved fighting. It was the ultimate high. Having a quiz about fighting was like reading a good book. Sure, it took a little effort, but it was all worth it in the end.

"Since last week's quiz was multiple-choice, this week will be question and answer; the final question shall be an essay question. Remember your last sentence should tie all the previous sentences together. You can access it...now. Have fun!"

Zell pressed the button for the quiz and answer 1 popped up. It looked like this test was going to be a snap.

1) Elnoyle cards are need in large quantities to modify into what item?

2) When fighting a T-Rexaur, it is wise to have this equipped to your elemental attack junction?

3) What is the only magic you can draw from a cactuar?

4) Which monster uses the attack "everybody's grudge?"

5) What is the magic used to increase the likelihood of limit breaks?

6) What is the name of the most popular game at Balamb Garden?

7) Where are the three gardens?

8) Blue dragons are found where?

9) The only other point of interest nearby Balamb Garden and Balamb City is what?

10) Opinion question: Who makes the best yaoi couple in FF8 and why?

Yaoi? FF8? What was Quistis talking about? Zell guessed that it was his fault for never reading any of his textbooks. Other than the last one, Zell was sure he had gotten them all right. He propped his feet atop the computer terminal and waited for everyone else to finish.

He looked over at Squall who looked like he was trying to sit on a stick. Squall always looked like that. Plus, he was always thinking so much that you could practically see the words behind his eyes...Or over his head.

Seifer was still looking at the screen. Ha! He was still taking the test! Zell felt cockier now. He leaned back a little more in his chair...

...And fell over.

In an instant he was off the ground, but everyone had seen him fall and the sound of the chair crashing was still echoing. Great. The girls laughed, some men did but not many. Zell had his weapons on him most of the time and that kept everyone in line, except for Seifer of course. Hmmm, Seifer, perhaps he'd think about his dream to pass the time.

In the beginning it was easy to focus on that memory, but more and more he was beginning to feel uncomfortable. His bladder was full. He waited and waited, trying not to think of water, for the class to be over. When the bell finally rang, he happily ran for the door. He didn't knock over any students, because they were all used to Zell doing that. He was just too full of energy to want to be in the way of.

Squall enjoyed being the last one in the classroom. That was at least, when Quistis wasn't the teacher. She always seemed to want to pry into his life, finish his sentences, and laugh at his introvertedness. He was getting to the point where he just felt like saying "Fuck you" and walking out. He was glad none of the other teachers singled him out. Usually his quietness got him overlooked which was what he was going for. So, after her class he left in the middle of the crowd, hoping she wouldn't call him back. She didn't today.

"Where the hell is the fucking bathroom?" yelled Zell. He was holding his legs close together and looked like he REALLY had to go.

Squall wanted to help him out, but suddenly he couldn't think of where exactly the bathroom was. And when Zell approached him for an answer, he shrugged. "I don't know. I never really thought about it before."

Zell's eyes grew wide. Twice in one day! This was just too weird. No laundry room, no bathrooms? What kind of torture chamber was this school? Why didn't anyone else have to go to the bathroom? That did it, he was going to see Headmaster Cid! Right after he peed in a bush...

"So, Mr. Dincht brought it to my attention that we don't have one, and I'm pretty sure we should need one, it's being installed tomorrow."

Oh yeah, a bathroom. Hadn't he heard Zell shouting something about that in the hallway earlier? Squall couldn't really remember. Did they need a bathroom at the garden? It seemed like they should.

As he left Cid mumbling to himself, Squall passed by Irvine. You couldn't miss passing by Irvine. It would be like walking by a Cinnabon without taking a sniff. There was always something about him which caught the eye or in Squall's case, his entire body.

"Hey," he said. This was quite a speech for Squall and Irvine appreciated it. He came to a stop and posed smiling in front of his friend.

"Hi Squall, what are you up to?"

What had he been up to? He couldn't remember: too much studying or too much hanging out with Rinoa. It was one of the two. "I think I was going to go study."

Irvine made a face. No man that studied as much as Squall deserved to get a girl. Well, Irvine had some free time, perhaps he could save Squall from his poor, lonely fate. "I have a better idea. Come with me to see Selphie."

Do something else

Go along with it

"I don't think so..."

Irvine held out the hand that wasn't carrying his gun. "Come on."

"Okay." Why had Squall said that? He didn't really feel like going. Oh well, just go along with it for now.

Zell was getting sick of peeing in bushes. Just until tomorrow, he assured himself. And now he was sitting in his room thinking that he was hungry. So, he could just go to the cafeteria and eat. But, all they had was hot dogs. And they were probably out. He exhaled loudly before standing up. Okay, time to do something. He had been moping ever since he got back from classes.

He ran out of his room ready to find something to eat in this damn place that wasn't meaty, rubbery, and phallic. He found Seifer instead. Slightly meaty, but he'd do...

"Hey Seifer! I have a question!"

"Yes, you ARE an annoying chicken wuss," joked Seifer. It was always so much fun to pick on Zell. He got so pissed, usually.

"What is there to eat besides hot dogs?"

Seifer leaned his head to the side. Zell wanted to eat something other than hot dogs? "Why would you want to?"

Zell was getting that feeling again. It was the feeling that something was very wrong in the way of there being no other food in Balamb garden besides hot dogs. "Let's say...let's say they are out of hot dogs."

Seifer thought about it. Then, not thinking of anything he got angry. "I don't know! Do I look like a restaurant guide to you?"

Then it hit Zell, there weren't any restaurants in all of Balamb. The fishermen caught fish all day, but never gave it to a store to sell. Well, Zell would just have to catch himself a fish. He could cook it in his mom's house. After all, he had been fishing since he was a kid.

"Balamb has fish! Of course! But Seifer, something really weird is happening... Come with me." He didn't know why he had suggested it. He knew that Seifer would just laugh at him. But he knew he'd feel safer if someone else was with him. Especially the guy from that wonderful dream, the one he would NEVER forget.

Do something else

Go along with it

"Why would I want to hang out with you chicken?"

Okay, that was the typical Seifer response. But, it was dark and the ocean was so large and dark. "Come on Seifer, what are you, afraid to be by the ocean at night?"

"Fine Chicken Wuss, let's see which one of us is scared of the dark." Now why did he say that? He didn't want to go along with Zell...

The night was cold like it always was by the ocean. But it was nice, at least to Seifer. Zell on the other hand was freezing his ass off. His fishing pole jittered in his hands.

"You are going to scare them off Zell," whispered Seifer in a warning tone. He could see just how cold Zell was though. It was kind of cute how he wasn't about to give up though. He would sit out here and die of hypothermia before he went inside. "Maybe we should go for a swim."

Zell wanted to be angry about that suggestion, but just the mere idea of it made his body shudder. How cold must this water be if the night was this cold? Finally, he was prepared to say something rude to Seifer when a coat was thrust in front of his face.

Seifer's coat? He looked confusedly beyond the coat to Seifer who was sitting there in his vest. "Well, take it."

Could he really take Seifer's coat? Actually, since he had already grabbed it, he should be wondering if he should wear it or not. It was warm. He slipped it over his shoulders.

"As soon as I get cold, I'm asking for it back!" said Seifer. Zell believed that. Yet, as the night grew even darker and the stars came out, Seifer's fishing pole began to shake, and not from the fish. Zell wanted to offer the coat back, but then they would just have to repeat the cycle. So, they sat.

Seifer was freezing. Why did he have to give Zell his coat? He didn't even like the guy...much. He very subtly moved closer to Zell, feigning a stretch. Oh he could feel warmth. He wanted to warm his hands on Zell like a fire. Wait! What was he thinking? The hypothermia must have hit his brain first.

Just as he was about to give in and ask for his damned coat back, he felt a bite. Thank god! They could eat and he could get warm. He began the long process of reeling in a fish. Zell was yelling advice at him and he wanted to deck him. What made Zell think that he knew more about fishing than him? He lived by the ocean too dammit.

"The hunters have returned!" shouted Zell as they returned from ocean. When they weren't immediately greeted by his mom, he realized she must be asleep. Upon looking at the clock that made sense since it was nearly midnight. They had been out in that cold for nearly 4 hours! It was amazing they weren't dying from pneumonia. Just as Zell thought it, Seifer sneezed.

"Oh shit. I've caught a fucking cold and it's all your fault!" accused Seifer before becoming a lump on Zell's couch.

Zell sighed, removing the coat and going to prepare the fish. It smelled wonderful as it was grilling up. It helped that his mom had shown him so many good ways to serve fish. It had been nice sitting next to Seifer. Even if they hadn't done much talking, just having him near felt good. It gave him plenty of ideas for some fantasies he planned on having come the next few days.

You dare me to go skinny dipping? Fine, I'm as badass as you. Oh no, Seifer, you can't swim. I'll save you. Hmmm, a reward for saving your life? I'll take it.

Zell was lucky the dinner didn't burn to a crisp.

He was disappointed to find a shivering, sleeping Seifer once the meal was done. Here he had a cute little fish and potatoes combo and Seifer was going to miss it. Zell sighed. Oh well. He ran upstairs to grab an extra blanket for Seifer. After all, it wasn't like he was going to be willing to share a bed. He might as well stay on the couch.

Seifer stopped shaking in only a few minutes. Zell knew because he set up his dinner at the table in front of Seifer. Who needed TV? He alternated looking around the room and looking at the cute sleeping blond.

Now that he had eaten, he felt better, better than if he had eaten another damn hot dog. He must have just been sick of them after so long.

Seifer looked so sweet. It occurred to Zell what he was going to do about five seconds after he did it. Then, he knew that he should probably impale himself on Seifer's gunblade and save Seifer the trouble of having to kill him for it. He kissed Seifer, close-mouthed, but not a peck. He felt Seifer awake underneath his face and the panic set in. Zell jumped up and put his fists up.

"I didn't mean it Seifer! Don't kill me!" he was mostly scared, but a little bit of him was so happy.

Seifer looked at him groggily. Why the hell did Zell kiss him? Oh well. No harm done. It wasn't that bad actually...but that lingering smell. "Oh great Zell, kiss me with fish breath." He closed his eyes, grabbed at the blanket tightly, and fell back to sleep.

appeared over Zell's head. He could feel it. He looked up at the lingering question mark. That caused another one to spring up beside it. "Ahhhh!" screamed Zell.

"What?" asked Seifer, grabbing at his blade. His strong hand grasped the handle as his body came out of the chair.

"I've got question marks over my head!"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Zell was swatting the air over his head. "I looked up and there were question marks!"

Seifer studied Zell. He always thought that Zell was a little eccentric, but he didn't think he was crazy. "What are you talking about? And...why did you kiss me?"

"LOOK!" Zell yelled, pointing above Seifer.

And sure enough, even though he only caught a small glimpse of it...there had been a question mark there. He jumped away from the couch towards Zell. "What the hell was that?"

"I've been trying to tell you. Weird things are happening at Garden and no one is noticing. Cid had to put in bathrooms cause he realized we didn't have any! And our clothes don't get dirty!" Zell was nearly hysterical.

Seifer grabbed his shoulders. "Zell, calm down! We'll talk to Cid about it in the morning. For now, all we can do is go on fighting monsters."

"Yeah I guess so," said Zell, beginning to sit down again. Then it hit him that it didn't make any sense to ignore a weird thing that was going on. "Um, Seifer, that's a stupid idea."

Seifer felt the anger. It had made sense. Actually, no, it really didn't. But nothing did at the moment. Zell had kissed him dammit, how was he supposed to focus on anything else? "You kissed me."

"Yeah, sorry about that," apologized Zell. "You didn't seem too angry."

Seifer grabbed Zell's shirt collar. "Of course I wasn't. I was sleeping Dincht!"

Note to the readers: I'm sparing you the whole Seifer-kissing-a-guy-after-grabbing-them-by-the-collar maneuver. You can all thank me later

Zell's mother called out then, possibly saving her son's life. "Are you boys okay?"

"Yes mom!" called Zell after Seifer released him. "Hey mom, do we have a bathroom?"

Zell was kissing him again. But this time, it was open mouthed. It was wonderful. Zell's agility was a plus when it came to lovemaking. His hands seemed to cover all of Seifer's body. Why hadn't Seifer ever thought about this before? Zell was perfect. He decided to tell him that. "You..." he started saying before he realized had woken up; had woken himself up by speaking in fact. Shit! It had been a dream.

Seifer looked around the empty living room, fish going bad on the coffee table. Well, that was unpleasant. He trudged grumpily to the top of the stairs and opened the door to Zell's room.

"Wake up Chicken Wuss," he said shutting the door behind him. "I severely hope you brushed your teeth before you went to bed."


	2. Chapter 2

Just In . C2 . Search . Directory . Dictionary Log In . Register MenuFAQ/HelpTOSAd BlockerPrivacy-Just InC2SearchDirectoryDictionaryLoginRegister-AnimeBookCartoonComicGameMovieMiscTV Show

Games » Final Fantasy VIII » Quirky B s : A A A

Author: PrincessDesire 1. Default Chapter2. Chapter 2

Fiction Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Reviews: 8 - Published: 03-06-03 - Updated: 03-15-03 id:1260593

Quirky Part 2

Squall was bored, so bored that he was doing something uncharacteristic. He was doodling. Squall Leonhart was not much of a doodler. But there were little people with little gunblades on his paper, proving his guilt to the activity. Then out of the blue, came a little cowboy with a little shotgun. Next to him was a horse. It was cute. The cowboy was smiling real big, just like the cowboy that Squall was thinking about. Why was he drawing Irvine?

Seifer and Zell came in to the classroom then. They were very late. There was only a few minutes left in class. Quistis glared at them. "Perhaps you gentlemen wouldn't mind staying after class for a discussion?" she asked angrily. Seifer ignored her completely like he normally did. Zell looked guilty...but happy too.

Squall had heard something weird about Zell. What was it? He couldn't remember.

The bell rang what seemed like only a minute or two after Seifer and Zell came in. The room cleared out nearly instantaneously. Squall panicked. He had to get out before the last of the students. He darted to the door but not quite fast enough.

"And you Squall; I'd like to talk to you as well." Fuck.

"So, what was more important than my class?" asked Quistis with her arms folded across her chest. She always took offense to truants, but she wasn't much older than them and surely couldn't have forgotten the need to skip or be late to class.

"Lots of things instructor," said Seifer. He was such a bitch sometimes.

Her face lost some of the harshness and took on a more feminine touch. She looked a little hurt. "I can see that Seifer, since you aren't going to pass anyway. But, Zell, you are doing fine in here. Don't let Seifer rub off on you."

Seifer cracked up. "I think he enjoys being rubbed off on!"

Quistis looked at them oddly. "I don't even pretend to understand what you mean Seifer."

"We were having gratuitous sex, instructor." Zell and Seifer could see by the question marks above their audience's heads that they had surprised Squall and Quistis. They really needed to talk to headmaster Cid about that. "See, there are some things more important than your lectures."

Squall's mind did more than a flip. It hit a brick wall after the somersault. Okay, Seifer and Zell are gay lovers. There are no bathrooms. And, yes, he was drawing pictures of Irvine. 'Stop thinking' his brain told him. It usually said things like that to him.

"Um, you two can go..." said Quistis softly as a cocky Seifer strolled out of her classroom. They were fucking? Oh goodness. She needed to escape this moment. "So, Squall, um, would you like to go down to the training center with me and practice a bit?"

Do something else

Go along with it

"No thanks."

"It will be good for your training!"

"Alright."

They're training session was cut short by both of them having to use the new bathroom that had been installed in the dormitories.

"Hey Squall, how's it going?" asked Irvine.

He had seen Squall's back as he was in line at the cafeteria. He couldn't see the big eyes that were on Squall's face. Not until he turned to him and said in a low whisper, "They don't have anything else but hotdogs."

Irvine laughed. "What's the matter? Not a big hotdog fan?"

Squall was flabbergasted. Now he remembered what Zell had been saying, weird things happening with the bathrooms and such. Now here was a diet plan for trained soldiers that looked more like a 20 year old bachelor's.

Irvine looked nice, noticed Squall through his worry. His eyes were all twinkly like the stars that he and Rinoa had...Rinoa? Where was she anyway? Squall looked around. She hadn't been bugging him lately. Maybe she had gotten killed in a freak T-Rexaur attack. Why was he thinking that? He loved Rinoa. Didn't he?

"Hey man, are you doing okay?" asked Irvine, his hand went to Squall's shoulder.

Squall felt the urge to say "..." but that was annoying because he always said that. Instead, he said, "I drew a picture of you by a horse."

Irvine stared at Squall as the gunblade expert left the cafeteria, weapon slung over his back much like Seifer. What was going on lately? First Zell, now Squall. He decided to see what was going on.

"Okay okay, I went along with the installation of bathrooms. But, do you know how much it would cost to put in showers into each room?"

"Why don't we have them?" demanded Quistis, her foot stomping.

"We've never needed them before," said Cid shrugging.

"I don't understand! Why did we not have bathrooms? And why...why...?" Quistis's whole body shook with anxiety as she grabbed at her dress. "Why do I wear this horrible pink thing?"

Cid shook his head. "It's what you always wear. Well, when you aren't in uniform."

"Why? Why do we only have one outfit?"

Once again Cid shook his head. Cid was a completely useless leader.

"What the hell is going on?" asked Irvine. Cid seemed so small and scared in the big office chair. He seemed to think that Irvine was verbally attacking him.

"I don't know! The Garden is falling apart! I know what to do!" Cid sprang up from his seat to the intercom. "Squall, can you come to 3F immediately?"

Cid's answer to every crisis...

"It's obviously not just in our heads. Something is going around, something is spreading," said Seifer angrily to the small group.

"Leave it to Seifer Almasy to start a rebellion," joked Quistis as she came down the hallway.

"How are you in your pink dress today Quisty? Heard you used those new bathrooms."

Quistis turned red. There was some kind of epidemic running around at the school and she hated being one of the victims. Things looked strange to her now. But this was her Garden and she wasn't about to let it get out of control. "And rioting isn't going to change anything Seifer."

Seifer smiled charmingly, "Riot? What riot is that?" He gestured towards the people watching them. "They just want to know why we haven't had a bathroom until this week."

"We had no need to before."

"Why not? And why now?"

Quistis felt like she was being quizzed by a reporter. 'No comment', she thought wearily. This should be something that Cid took care of, not her. "Seifer, just stop being a pain in the ass for one day." Her hand rose automatically in dismissal as she passed by him. Would he ever stop being a nuisance?

Seifer wasn't sure if he had scored any points or not. He knew down deep that the problem didn't lie with Quistis or even Garden. There was something that had been wrong with the world and they had never noticed it. It was a disappointment that Zell wasn't with him to try and point out where his flaw lay. Sometimes, it was hard for Seifer to see what he was doing wrong. He felt that this wasn't resulting in much; he was just making himself frustrated by his own powerlessness. They hadn't realized about the bathrooms until days ago, what else would they find they were missing?

"Why the hell do you keep repeating yourself?" demanded Zell. This was a terribly frustrating day that was made worse by the man in front of him at the cafeteria.

"That was the last time I do that!" exclaimed the student for the third time. His anecdote before he had gotten stuck wasn't even that funny. But now he wouldn't say anything else. It was like he had reached his maximum word allowance.

Zell walked away, frustrated. He ran into Squall just outside the elevators. Squall seemed very agitated.

"Squall? What are you saying to yourself?" Zell hadn't been able to make out any of the ramblings coming from Squall and it was odd. It was odd that Squall was talking.

The brunette looked up, startled to see Zell in front of him and blocking his path. "I drew Irvine but it didn't mean anything."

Zell blinked.

"Then I had to use the bathroom. After that I was wondering...where did Seifer go after our training? I mean, that one time when he gave me the scar. I gave him a scar too, but he wasn't in the infirmary." Squall's eyes shut tightly and reopened as if trying to wake himself up. "Where did he go?"

Zell had never heard Squall talk that much. It seemed like his friend was on peyote or some mind altering substance. That wasn't permitted in Garden. Not very much was.

Being the kind person that he was, he decided to take Squall and hide him away until the drug wore off. He couldn't take him back to his room, as much as he cared about Squall, there was no way he would take the chance of getting caught. He also couldn't take him to Seifer's, since he had just seen Seifer in the quad. That left either Quistis (The teacher), Selphie (The spazz), or fairly neutral Irvine. Zell chose Irvine.

"You're lucky you caught me in, I was just about to go and woo some girls in the library." Irvine grinned at Zell. It was nice being such a lady-killer. Just a smile and the old Kinneas charm was all it took.

Zell rolled his eyes. He didn't need to be hearing this now. Instead, he grabbed the Squall he had taken and thrust him into Irvine's room. "Squall is on some drug and I think he should stay here until, well, until he's not hallucinating."

Squall protested. "I'm not on a drug... Irvine!" His cheeks turned pinkish and he looked away from the cowboy like a crushing girl. His hands were covering his cheeks and his eyes were closed. He didn't notice that the other two were staring at him.

Irvine took a glance at Zell. "What is he on?" It didn't seem like a very Squallish thing to do. He seemed like too much of a control freak to try hallucinogens.

Zell shook his head. "I don't know, but I'm hungry and am going to Balamb for some fish again." He needed to leave. He wanted to take Seifer and escape this insane asylum.

"All these problems need to be fixed immediately. We NEED showers! Cid doesn't even care about any of this. The...knowledge hasn't spread to him."

"Hey Mr. Anarchist!" yelled Zell. He had left Seifer for a few hours and the man was already trying to take over the Garden. "Halt the revolution! We're getting dinner."

"I didn't mean to draw you. It just sort of happened."

They were sitting on Irvine's bed attempting to figure out why it was that Squall's seemed to be on acid.

"I was...wearing clothes right?"

"Of course!" Squall had to defend his manly honor. He may have been drawing pictures of another man, but they weren't nudie pics. Though now that he was thinking about it...

"Well then, I don't really see anything wrong with that." His brown eyes soulfully held Squall's gaze. "After all, we're buddies right?"

Squall said, "Mmmhmm" just before his lips were squished against Irvine. He wasn't sure who had kissed who. They were both leaning together on Irvine's bed at the same angle.

Squall felt more comfortable than he ever had before. There was no confusion at all. This was a good place to be and a good thing to be doing. So they kissed.

Selphie clapped her hands and slid her shoulders left and right. She loved her taste in music. But, she had been in her room dancing for nearly a half an hour and she felt the need to do something else. She could go eat something, but she had a feeling there wouldn't be any hotdogs left anyway. She wanted to socialize. Maybe if she found Irvine, he could think up something fun to do. He was her best friend mostly because of their innate socialization skills.

She strolled past dorm rooms of people she knew, only occasionally knocking to see if anyone was home. No one was ever in their rooms in the afternoon. She sighed, her arms coming down to pull her on her dress a little. She always wore such a short outfit.

When she reached Irvine's room, she made a quick wish that he would be inside, then knocked. She waited, but no was answering. He must not be home. She cursed her bad luck angrily.

"Selphie, have you seen Squall?" asked a voice behind her. Quistis stood there, looking worried. That wasn't a rare look for Quistis.

"Nope, have you seen Irvine?"

Quistis shook her head. She didn't know where Squall had run off to, but Cid was in a panic. They needed the dark-haired man to restore order to the chaos. And he had to help before Seifer led all the students to violence. She wondered if Zell would be helping Seifer now that they were a couple.

Selphie waited for Quistis to say something else, but she just stood there thinking. Perhaps Quisty was spending too much time with Squall. Then she did speak. Now Quistis wasn't a very big gossip, but something had reminded her about Seifer and Zell.

"Seifer and Zell are having sex. They told me this morning."

Selphie laughed. Right! Big ego-driven Seifer hooking up with sweet little Zell. "Yeah, and Irvine and Squall are having sex too!" Why not? The whole garden could pair up into odd little gay couples!

Quistis stared at her with big round eyes. Selphie was about to ask what was up, when she watched the teacher turn towards Irvine's dorm room.

An utterly silent moment of disbelief passed between them. "No!" Selphie threw her hands down dramatically. "They may both be missing, but aren't we jumping to conclusions?"

"Stranger things have happened lately..." Quistis said, pulling out her Teacher's keycard.

"QUISTIS! You can't just barge into Irvine's room!" What if Squall really was in there? What would they be interrupting?

Normally, she would have respected Irvine's privacy. But she hadn't been feeling like herself, so she slid the card through and pushed open the door. "So, what are you up to?" Quistis asked in a cheerfully evil voice. She actually was hoping that she would catch Irvine in the act of something dirty. Unfortunately, it appeared that the fun had already been had. Squall was underneath Irvine's blanket staring at her in shock.

"None of your..."

"Business," she finished and then giggled. "Oh fuck, I'm sorry. I don't' know why I did that." Sometimes she annoyed herself. And who wouldn't be irritated by an anal retentive pink nightmare that finished other people's sentences?

Irvine had jeans on luckily. He was scratching his head. "Instructor, why are you in my room?"

Quistis had a guilty expression on her face. "I need Squall. Well, not like you need Squall." She coughed nervously. Why had she decided to barge into Irvine's room? It was such an awkward moment. "The school is rioting. Cid wants Squall up top immediately."

Quistis grabbed Selphie's wrist and pulled them both from the room. Selphie's mouth was still open. She wasn't speaking or moving; it was very untypical.

Irvine shrugged. "Did I knock the drug out of your system?" he asked Squall with a grin.

"Okay, they are having sex. Our entire school has gone gay and insane." Quistis laughed suddenly. "Hey Selphie, do you suddenly feel an enormous urge to change out of these pink and yellow clothes?"

Selphie slowly looked downwards. Ye gods! What was she wearing? Her ensemble was a bright yellow jumper that barely covered her ass. She was horrified. With a quick nod to Quistis, they set off towards Quistis's dorm room.

Squall spun around and around in his swivel chair. Technically it was Cid's but since Cid wasn't really a leader, it didn't seem to matter much. Nothing mattered much to him anyway. "Whee!"

"Um, Mister Leonhart…are you on something?"

"Nida! Don't ask our leader that! Squall, snap out of it, we need your help right now. The garden is going crazy and it needs you to be intelligent for it." Xu was not used to losing control of situations. Even with what a small part she played in saving the world from the Sorceress, she felt like she had some control. The problem with this was that she didn't even really know what the problem was.

"Why do monsters carry items? They never use them, not that I've seen anyway." Squall giggled happily. "Don't you guys see? I'm finally myself. I have…" He leaned his excited delicate face towards them. "I have more dimensions now. I'm not just a moody grumpy lone wolf!"

"I see that Squall. You also have a ridiculous and irritating side. Please focus on the situation."

Squall squinted at her. "Wow, you sounded just like Quistis. Hey, you two are kind of alike."

Xu and Quistis were close to each other, so it wasn't as if it was an insult. Still, she was so maddened by Squall's behavior, that she actually found her hand smacking his cheek. With horror, she dropped the offending hand and stepped back from his desk.

Squall grabbed his cheek. "Ow! Xu hit me! Bad Xu! You are expelled!"

Nida stepped in front of the shocked woman. "Mister Leonhart, the students are panicked and only you can help them."

"What is your last name Nida?"

Nida frowned. Why did Squall want to know his last name? He couldn't actually think of his last name. He certainly must have one. He seemed to know Squall's last name.

Squall had moved on to other thoughts. "Do you two know where Rinoa is? I can't seem to find her anywhere. Well, I haven't really been looking for her. I've kind of been sleeping with Irvine all day."

Xu glanced over at Nida. His eyes were darting from left to right but he didn't seem to be looking at anything in particular. "I haven't seen Rinoa."

Squall stood up from the chair. "Look, I'm going to be honest with you. I never wanted to be leader. I'm not even very good at it, I'm just lucky. I mean, I only made a few decisions by myself, the rest of the time I just went along with somebody else. Maybe you should just find someone else to be in charge of Garden." He touched Xu lightly on the shoulders. "Maybe Quistis can help you. But right now I have to go find Irvine and do some necking."

There was a scream and a loud crash. Both looked over to see the broken window that Nida had jumped out of. The scream had been, "My life is pointless!"


	3. Chapter 3

Quirky

By

Princess Desire

Chapter 3

Surprisingly it was the childish and silly Squall that came up with an idea for what the problem might be. Of course, he was far too stupid now to realize that. "Irvine, you are so much better than Rinoa! I wonder where she went?"

Xu's brain clicked like the chain of a lamp being tugged on. "The sorceress," she uttered.

Irvine pulled his earlobe out from between Squall's teeth. "Of course! It must be Rinoa. She has magical powers now."

"Okay, I want everyone of importance rounded up. All main characters plus myself and Edea." Xu announced. She had always been a take charge type person. She could handle any situation and remain calm. Except for the entrance of Miss Trepe.

Instead of the pink dress, Quistis was wearing a tight fitting red blouse and black leather pants. Her hair was down and wild around her face. A black collar accentuated her long neck. With one hand she held her whip over her shoulder.

Every feeling of strength left Xu. Her jaw dropped at the new sexy Quistis. She couldn't speak.

"Instructor, you look like a bondage mistress," Irvine complimented.

"I think Selphie looks cuter than you!" said Squall impishly.

Selphie was wearing baggy pants and a baby doll T-shirt. She looked like a mini thug. Her hair was no longer flipped up, but tied back in a ponytail.

"We're going to interrogate Rinoa! When we find her." Squall was so delighted. His arms were still wrapped around Irvine. It didn't seem that he would be letting go any time soon either.

Quistis grinned. "Good idea, she's been missing since the start of this thing. Squall, first off, fuck you. Second, when was the last time you saw her?"

Xu finally shut her jaw, but her eyes were no less narrow.

"I don't wanna tell you." Squall pouted. "It's embarrassing."

Irvine ran his hand over the small of Squall's back. "Now now kitten, we have to know."

In response to the stroking Squall nearly purred. But, it did get him to tell. "She was in my room that night. She isn't nearly as good as Irvine at sex. Anyway, I didn't want to sleep in the same bed with her, so I stayed out all night in the training area. She was playing my Playstation when I left. By dawn though, she was gone."

Most of the room felt sickened by the thought of sex with Rinoa as well, so they understood. "Okay, then we'll check your room first. Everybody! Let's get a move on!"

Irvine, Squall, Selphie, and Quistis piled into the elevator. "Are you coming Xu?" asked Quistis.

With a fervent nod, Xu sprang forward to join them. Being pressed up against Quistis dressed like that might kill her, but she was willing to try.

"Ooh, Irvine I've always wanted to do it in an elevator!" expressed Squall.

The Playstation had been left on as well as the television. On the screen, was a video game that none of them had seen before. The graphics were very unrealistic, possessing many more colors than in real life.

Zell launched himself at the controller. "Wow, I've never seen this one before! It's so weird looking."

The room was awfully small for their large group. It hadn't taken long to dig up Squall and Zell. They had been fishing down at the Balamb pier. Edea had been comforting her husband who just couldn't handle the strain of leadership. All together there were eight of them. Seven if you counted the fact that Irvine and Squall's bodies didn't separate.

"What game is it Squall?" Zell asked.

"I dunno. It's one of Rinoa's games. Its called Yaoi Earth Adventure. I've never played it. It looked kinda gay to me." His last statement was followed by a terrific amount of giggling. "How is that for irony?"

"What is yaoi?" asked Quistis.

"What is Earth?" responded Seifer.

Zell made a startled noise. "Matron? Do you um, recognize these symbols?"

Edea moved gracefully closer towards the screen. The words on the screen looked magical in nature, that was obvious. She had no idea what they meant. She had never even played a video game before, so she wasn't sure. "That one there looks like the symbol for travel. I don't know, I'm not very experienced as a sorceress." She looked embarrassed.

"Travel? What about this blinking white one?"

She shook her head. "No good, I haven't the vaguest idea."

"Only one way to find out…" Zell pressed the button and everyone waited. Nothing happened. "Matron, you try."

"Me?"

"We don't have time to waste on video games," snapped Quistis. Rinoa had to be somewhere and she couldn't be in the video game.

"Sure just press that button there."

"Guys," Selphie said for the first time since they had teamed up. "I have a bad feeling about this."

"You had to say that didn't you?" cried out Squall. "Now something bad is going to…"

The room flashed bright white and was filled with the scream of howling winds. One by one they disappeared until the only ones left were Squall and Seifer.

They looked at each other. This was bad.

Rinoa had been studying books about magic during loading screens and leveling up in her game. She was completely absorbed with Yaoi Earth Adventure, but that was no reason to neglect her studies. Edea hadn' tbeen able to help her much. She had found many books scattered around different continents. Dr. Odine had been able to provide her with some and of course there were ancient religious documents. They were dull reading and she was happy to distract herself with her video game.

The point of the game was to match up sexy men with other sexy men. The graphics were astounding, much higher quality than she had even seen. But most of all, she liked the sappy romances. It made her wish that the guys at Garden were like that. Squall didn't have a romantic bone in his body. It would be nice if he was half as needy as she was.

Her character (whose face was never shown) had just arrived in the Land of San Francisco when she had the idea. In the game, this was like a yaoi utopia. She had heard about it from citizens of other cities and she was psyched. She knew that this was going to be fun…and dirty.

Squall was laying in bed. They had just finished a rather unsatisfying round of sex. She was playing the game and leaving him alone. He didn't like to be touched, talked to, or looked at after being intimiate with her. He usually left for the traning center immediately afterwards, but he was laying in bed.

She had a book open on her lap. This chapter was about Sorceresses creating their own realities. She already knew enough about this after the time travel incident. She didn't actually create the world, but she had shaped what she remembered around her, cotnrolling it. She should have formed it around a more yaoi-friendly world.

Her eyes drifted back to the screen. A cute boy was shoing her the way to Chinatown. His eyes were flirty even though the image was a still. Her stomach flipped. Why couldn't she create herself into that environment? Her hands shook on her controller.

It was at that moment that Squall decided to leave for the training center. She was excited and anxious for him to get the hell out of the apartment. She would try it first and then come back. He wouldn't even have to know about it. That way, if she failed, she wouldn't look foolish and if she succeeded he wouldn't be offended. It wasn't his fault he was so straight.

Her ritual tools were out in the livingroom immediately after the door shut behind him. Rinoa was fluttering with excitement. Of course, she didn't need any knick knacks, but it would help her to focus. The book was still open to creating environments. She lit a black candle for psychic powers. She formed the symbol for Hyne's protection with salt water around the Playstation.

Incantations that were purely unnecessary and ornamental flowed from her lips. Things that she had been reading meant for non-magic users. She was a sorceress. She didn't need the abra cadabra bit. When she felt the swirling winds around her, she was more surprised than she had ever been. It was working. She began laughing like a villian.

Back in Squall's room, there was an empty spot where Rinoa had been.


End file.
